Being Messy

Being Messy

I’m a planner. I love to plan what I’m going to make. I always read through the whole pattern, recipe, how-to before I begin. I make sure I have everything I need. I gather my materials. I sketch, I put colours together, I pull out knitting needles. I don’t generally have a stash, preferring to buy things when I need them (although I have had a bit of fabric stash creep – that’ll be worked through this year).

So while the space I’m working in may be messy (oh boy, is it ever), the actual project is orderly. Well thought out. Planned. I’m not so rigid so I can’t pivot, but more often than not what I go in with is what the end result is.

This has slowly crept into all my crafting. There’s a tipping point where good planning becomes constraint, and I feel like I’ve crossed that line without even noticing. Even my dyeing has become somewhat constrained. There’s some colours I really like and I know I can get well, so I have a habit of making them. I make them sometimes with variation, but it’s a variation on a theme. It’s a good thing planning and knowing what you can get, but it’s also stifling when you start to rely on it too much.

I’m at a bit of a crossroads. I don’t think it’s an earth shattering crossroads, but a crossroads nonetheless. I think partially this was brought on by limited time the past few years; I know what I can get, and my time is precious, so that’s what I’ll do. Going in not knowing the outcome means you might be disappointed, but it also stifles the joy of discovery. So, going forward I’m preparing myself to be disappointed.

I’m also preparing myself for the joy of discovery. I’m prepared this year to spend all this time scouring and mordanting fabric and dyeing with dyestuffs I’m unfamiliar with to maybe not be happy with the results. I could also be absolutely overjoyed with the results, and I just don’t know. That’s the point.

I’ve had a few ah-ha moments the past year where I think all this is coming from. Part of it has been inspired by the book Quilt Alchemy, which I referenced in my year end post. I absolutely adore this book, and it’s one of the most inspiring dyeing and quilting books I own. Sara’s methods have made me take a look at my own, and while I’ve generally designed something then dyed to that design, I really want to change that up and see where that takes me creatively. So this year I’ve decided to dye then design around the colours I create.

Part of the inspiration for this as well, was my little exercise sketching with patchwork in spring of 2023. I took my scraps, and threw together a bunch of variations on a Bear Paw block (my favourite kind of block), and ended up with some absolutely lovely combinations I never would have done had I planned.

Lastly, stepping back into printmaking by way of blockprinting with lino has inspired this. Something about linocut has given me more space to experiment, likely because I haven’t done it in so long it’s all a realm of discovery for me again. I want to apply that more and more to other areas of the stuff I make.

I feel like I’m craving all of that more lately; not planning, experimenting, seeing where the wind takes me. Being disappointed, but learning from that as well which is so incredibly important in order to learn anything.

This is probably the closest I’ve come to a “resolution” ever, but it came about organically so I’m hesitant to call it that. But what I am going to do is be messier this year. I’m going to throw off the shackles of planning everything down to the letter and see where we end up. It should be interesting looking back on the year to see what happened, and I’m so ready for the journey.